The Plan
Something titled The Plan! hit my Inbox the other day.It's been around awhile, but has recently been attributed to Robin Williams. That part of it is a hoax. Robin Williams never wrote anything more than possibly a small quote at the end of the most recent version to make the rounds (taken out of context from one of his routines). Click on this: Snopes/The Plan! to check the snopes (a hoax-checking site) article.
As this version came to me directly from someone I know, I thought I'd comment specifically.
My unasked-for ¥2.42 (two cents) worth:
The Plan!
1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good 'ole' boys", we will never "interfere" again.
This one used to stop at "...present." I pretty much agreed with that one. The new ending makes this version just plain viscious.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.
Though I wouldn't mind stronger border control, the idea of withdrawing our forces world-wide, en-mass and using them to the circle our country is just silly.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
Interesting idea...right up until the unnecessary dig at France. Any idea of what it would take to assist or deport six million+ people in 90 days? Funny how none of the guys that write these things ever mention the other, more practical method which would work equally well. Serious jail time, or at least very hefty fines, for anyone caught hiring an illegal alien. That'd shut down (or at least cause a major re-invention of) half the restaurants in the country and practically eliminate nanny and housekeeping services (not to mention what would happen to the landscaping and construction industries). At the very least, pricing would dramatically change. Who suffers, and who benefits when you look at this from the larger view?
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
The first sentence of this is actually the law. It has been for decades. It's the entire purpose of the visa system. The rest is just mean and bigoted in is very nature. Define "terrorist nation". Likely any country actually listed as such already has travel restrictions in place. "Asylum would never be available to anyone."?! How very Christian. Ask your priest, minister, paster or rabbi about that one. "We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers."...you might as well shout your pride in racist bigotry as say this aloud.
5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
Another ridiculous one. PhD students are mostly over 21 as are those seeking Masters degrees while working in the States. The chances of one being a "bomber" are about the same as you simultaneously winning several hundred million dollars in a lottery while being struck by lightning as your car falls into a sinkhole created by the earthquake happening. This is scare-mongering at its worst. If they are getting a "D" (as an average across the board), then they shouldn't be here as a student (that part, I agree with).
6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
This one I don't half disagree with. Still, I wonder about how temporary drilling would be...esp. if large deposits were found. I'd like to think we could limit caribou damage though.
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
This one is sadly naive in soo many ways, but again, I don't half disagree with the general idea behind it. Funny no mention is made of the obscene profits U.S. oil companies are making at this very moment. Is it them that would be offering (and presumably getting) $10 a barrel? What would it cost you by the time it reached your car? I'm sure the oil companies would not try to take advantage...
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given
to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
How very Christian...not to mention neighborly...and when did we start supplying countries with rain?! (refrain from ecological quips please!) I do agree more needs to be done to see that aid gets to those that need it. While pointing a decidedly correct finger elsewhere, try looking a little closer to home as well. New Orleans since Katrina would be a good example if you want to see how well this kind of thing is handled even within the States.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
No doubt there are many countries that would jump at the honor of housing the U.N. No isolated island need be found or bought. Most of this could likely have be taken from a policy statement from 1939 Germany...besides, why bother with loading the U.N. with spies when all that it takes to accomplish the same thing is money? Hell, the lobbying group AIPAC...involved in several spy scandals...is one of the biggest contributors to almost every currently elected high-level official in U.S. government.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE.
I kind of agree with this one...but have trouble with the last part of it (seeing how I still can't really manage Japanese even after living here as long as I have).
I am aware that this is just usually passed around as a joke by people that give it a quick read and not a lot of thought, but it's usually passed around with some kind of comment about electing this guy. There are things in this that really do need thought. Mine are above.
A plan really is needed (not that humor isn't), but the above doesn't really qualify as either in my opinion.
Labels: The Plan
posted by Steve @ 12:04 AM
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