Fire Interview
VP (Vicious Puppet master): Thank you for coming today.
FR (Faux News reporter): You deman...uh...thank you. This would be about the fire that occurred in your office at the white House?
VP: Yes.
FR: It looked like a serious fire. Was there much damage?
VP: No one was hurt, the country is doing well despite the threat of terrorism everywhere, and be assured that it will not affect our commitment to staying the course in Iraq while aggressively going after Iran for about the same reasons we went after Iraq.
FR: How did the fire start?
VP: This is just one of those unfortunate things that occur from time to time.
FR: What was damaged?
VP: That brings us to the main reason for this interview. As unfortunate as it is, I'm afraid that all files related to several current and upcoming court cases and more than a few CIA tapes and files I was reviewing are now nothing more than ash. I'm afraid that all the hard drives on all the computers were also destroyed. I'll add that anything the fire didn't destroy was destroyed by heat, smoke, and/or water damage.
FR: So despite the fact that no one was injured, this really was a tragic event.
VP: Very true. All of the burned material would have proved me...uh...the administration innocent of each and every charge or allegation we face. I would like to add that the hard copies of every piece of of e-mail sent or received since we took control...that is to say...since this administration was elected in 2000 was also burned in this surprising and unfortunate blaze.
FR: That IS unfortunate. Sir, I hesitate to bring this up (because I could be fired), but there is a horrible rumor that the was possibly an accelerant involved in this blaze.
VP: As a matter fact, I would like to address that issue. As it happens, the fire started right where some other person dropped a spinning bottle of Bacardi 151. A tragic and completely random occurrence.
FR: As you say sir. Tragic. Sir, the entire nation is on their knees thanking their Christian god that you, at least were spared. Thank you for granting me this interview.
posted by Steve @ 12:59 AM
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